There are so many things to plan for a wedding, choosing your bridesmaids should be the least of your worries and a no-brainer, right? Wrong. Wait till it really happens, and you’ll understand just how not-simple it is.
Here are 6 questions you might want to ask yourself when deciding who to include in your wedding party:
1. Is she bridesmaids material?
Planning a wedding is stressful, and even with a good wedding planner, there is still a lot of pressure to make your big day as perfect as you want it to be. This is where you need all the support you can get. If you’re surrounded by a good support system within your bridal party, it can make all the difference.
One week before the wedding, I had a mental and emotional meltdown. There was still SO MUCH to be done, and due to my husband’s insane working hours and workload, I was basically handling everything myself. The stress was too much to take and I sat down on the balcony floor and started crying. More like wailing, to be honest.
Somehow, one of my bridesmaids sensed something amiss from my Whatsapp messages and called me. It was the right time coz I was done with my self-pity episode and needed some coaxing and encouragement. And who else better than one who has gone through it.
It also helps if your bridal party is super fun and creative since they will be planning your bachelorette party!
2. What are her roles & responsibilities?
She could be the most joyful and fun person to have in a party, but is she willing to work her ass off for your big day?
My girl friends are go-getters, planners, creative thinkers, doers. Together, we have achieved the most difficult of tasks with astounding results. I knew they would be capable of handling the entire wedding, but because I had a wedding planner, most of the planning was left to her. I didn’t want to make my girl friends work too hard haha. I wanted them to be more of my support system than my laborers, even though I know they’re the 赴汤蹈火在所不辞 kind of girl friends.
So if you don’t intend to get a wedding planner, will your bridesmaids be willing to take time out to help you with the planning? I have heard of bridesmaids not contributing to the planning, and even MIA on the big day. You wouldn’t want someone irresponsible to be given responsibilities, do you?
To agree to be a bridesmaids conveys a commitment to expectations of duties.
What roles do you have for your bridesmaids? Do you need them to dress shop with you? Are you decisive enough to make decisions by yourself or do you constantly need the opinions of others? What are each of them going to do on the big day, who to go where at which point in time?
For me, I didn’t need an entourage for dress-shopping, and for most things I made the decisions with the help of my planner. I really only needed a support group, and to know that if sh*t happens, they will always be there for me.
3. Do you REALLY want her to be your bridesmaid?
I initially thought of having 6 bridesmaids, 4 were confirmed while the other 2… I was on the fence and took a couple of MONTHS contemplating whether to include them or not.
Then I rationalized with the fact that if I even need to consider, it meant… X
Follow your heart and desires. Keep in mind that this is your day and everyone will eventually understand. Choose who you’re closest to and not out of obligation or reciprocity, but do consider the repercussions of leaving someone out especially if family is involved.
4. How are you going to pop the question?
Some brides take the extra mile and give out handmade cards, some don’t even need to ask because they made a pact in childhood that they would be each other’s bridesmaids.
I asked each of my 4 bridesmaids individually. I don’t know why, but I was nervous! I was afraid that I would be rejected, which very nearly happened. LOLLL! This Simin la!
Me: Simin, do you want to be my bridesmaid?
I really didn’t expect this response from her. Even typing this now makes me laugh.
If you expected someone to say yes but got a no, don’t be offended. Chances are it’s not YOU. That person might have personal reasons and it’s good to be honest about it upfront rather than bail out at the last minute. It’s a great honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid, so try and understand the reason behind it.
Simin’s reason was that she was not part of the clique with my other girl friends and was afraid that she’s the odd one out. Her worries were unfounded because she very easily assimilated into the group.
5. Do your bridesmaids know each other?
In continuation to Point 4, it’s much easier if your bridesmaids all already know one another, but it’s okie even if they don’t! It’s better they don’t know each other than hate each other. Haha.
Besides, the people you choose to be in your bridal party must be people whom you hold dear and have certain chemistry with. For me, at least, they’re the most important friends in my life – people who can blackmail me and destroy my life if they leaked my secrets. BAHAHAHA.
Just have fun. FUN is a wedding essential, so pick people whom you know you can have fun with and create many fun memories for you and with you!
My bridesmaids and I met post-wedding and I was given the most precious gift of all.
When I opened this, I went “WAHHH!!!!” with sparkling eyes and wide-opened mouth.
“Glad you like it”, the bear said.
Like a boss.
Each page had a picture of me and one of my precious friends, whom I call by their nicknames. More 亲切 ma~
NO WONDER Twinnie took all the instax with her when she left early the morning after the bachelorette party! I was perplexed at why I was left with not a single instax. LOL.
HUAT AH!!! XD
I was super touched when they later showed me this photo of them making the scrapbook. Imagine all these super busy people, coming together after a long day at work, at a bright and spacious food court, to make something for ME?
I love every single page, every sticker, every color combination, every texture, every shape, every word. 😀
My awesome bridal party. <3 Love you guys!!!
Cannot get enough of the tarts and cupcakes from Butter Studio. 😀 Every time I visit the shop I’ll definitely buy my favorite Sea Salt Caramel Nutella Tart.
How did or how will you choose your bridal party? Have you heard of or experienced (yikes!) any horror stories of not-so-good bridesmaids?